A good question to often ask is, “What would l want another parent to do for me, if this was my child?” What is your relationship like with your child’s friend? Would you be willing to talk with your child’s friend and share why you are concerned about what they are posting on social media? Could you contact her parents and ask if they have looked at her social media accounts in a while? It is possible that the values you have for your family are different than those of another family. Opening channels of communication and sharing your concerns may be a great first step.

– Ryan Lauterwasser, LCPC, CADC

When it comes to monitoring a child’s social media, this is definitely one of the most challenging questions parents face. There is no “one size fits all” or clear set of directions. To help you decide what is best for your family, I suggest treating the digital world like the physical world. As parents and caregivers, we need to teach our children how to act safely and appropriately. I like to use the example of a bicycle. A bicycle has many benefits (exercise, exploration, enjoyment), but it can also be very dangerous. When your child is young, you need to constantly monitor and teach them how to ride safely. They need to develop the mental and physical capacity to control a bicycle and use good judgment. You probably set up boundaries, like driveway only, and as your child develops and learns how to ride safely – stay on the sidewalk, stop at intersections, stranger danger, etc- you expand the boundaries. Perhaps, they are allowed to ride to the end of the block and then around the block. If they go beyond the boundary you have set, they face a consequence. You discuss the dangers and review your expectations. We need to apply the same ideas to the digital world. When our children are young, we need to constantly monitor and teach them to be responsible digital citizens. As they demonstrate the ability to use the internet/social media appropriately and follow the boundaries you’ve set, then they can be given more room to explore. You can find more information on internet safety and parenting at:

https://illinoisattorneygeneral.gov/onlinesafe/forparents.html

https://www.webwise.ie/category/parents/advice/

Online safety advice by age

– Detective Theresa Stock

When teens are looking for help related to addiction, the state of Illinois does allow for Certified Alcohol and Drug Counselors to see a minor without parental consent for 5 sessions. At the end of that time, the counselor is required to get parental consent to continue. The Illinois Mental Health Code indicates that at the age of 12, a person is legally able to decide who can have their mental health information when seeking treatment. However, for mental health specific concerns (depression, anxiety, attention deficit…), parental consent is required to see a licensed counselor. Parents must provide consent to start therapy, and may not be able to know what’s happening in therapy. Most licensed counselors obtain a HIPAA Release of Information to allow for the sharing of information. Teens may be able to utilize the support of their school social workers for some mild symptoms. Because of the volume of students that school social workers help, as symptom severity increases the social worker will likely recommend the teen see an outpatient counselor.

– Ryan Lauterwasser, LCPC, CADC

At this time in their development, your son may be perceiving himself under this “failure to launch” concept. This is where teens and emerging young adults have incongruent thoughts emerging that they should be further ahead in life based on the accomplishments of others, lack of opportunities made or pursued, and also feeling overwhelmed due to the upheaval of change with the pandemic. These feelings are completely normal and doing what you can to help them the process will look different for each individual.

Help them establish realistic goals for themselves and what they want to accomplish over the next few months or a year. Whether it be researching colleges, purchasing a car/home, traveling, etc., it all comes down to identifying the values behind their goal, and the steps they can take to accomplish it.

– Matthew Caston, LCPC, CCTP

My answer for this is complicated, as I don’t necessarily believe there is any mental health need that is larger in scope than others at this time. I do believe that the lack of compassion enacted toward ourselves and others is a factor that continues to reinforce many of the stigma that keeps this a taboo subject.

– Matthew Caston, LCPC, CCTP